Writing

DON’T FEED THE CROCODILE

Crocodile tears are when someone pretends they are crying by crying. It has no etymological links to the phrase “boy who cried wolf” which refers to crying so much that your cries hold less weight, and cease to function as a call to action.

In 1940, Winston Churchill admonished those who stayed neutral in the war; “Each one hopes that if he feeds the crocodile enough, the crocodile will eat him last.”

Crocodiles are impossible beasts, transgressing land and sea and they’d bite your head off if they got half a chance.

In 2017, Arlene Foster described the potential implementation of an Irish language act in Northern Ireland as feeding the crocodile, and that it would always come back for more.”

Crocodiles are insatiable cry babies, they are completely dependent. They are definitely scroungers and contribute nothing to society.

Crocodiles are not native to Ireland or England. Here they live domesticated, in homes and zoos. The only reptile native to Ireland is the common lizard. Snakes were removed by St.Patrick, a source of national pride.

Snakes only eat themselves when held in captivity, forced to feed themselves, or refusing to be fed. Creating a perfect loop; snakes are seen as distrustful and used as a synonym for distrustful characters. But it seems they are the ones distrustful of us. Eating themselves, they form tighter loops to escape our own. Cutting your nose to spite your face.

Crocodiles act as loops too, appropriated by dangerous characters to signal danger.

Crocodiles are fascism in the fascist imagination.

I try to find stories online about helpful and friendly crocodiles, in an attempt to break the negative news cycle. But each story comes with a disclaimer. Insisting it is the exception that breaks the rule;

Don’t feed the crocodile.

_{Text, 2020}

_{Colouring Book, 2020}